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Bullying has been on the rise these past years but little is done to counter it. One should be know how to deal with bullying in this day and age. As a mom, bullying is something that I have had to deal with. This is never an easy subject to discuss with your kids. However, the reality is we have to teach our kids how to deal with bullying.

I know that for me, when my child told me that he was being bullied in school the first thought that came into my head was to retaliate. So I had to take a step back, and tell myself that is not the way to respond to that situation. I knew in my heart that if I truly wanted him to feel comfortable coming to me, I had to talk to him and not get mad and cause a big scene.

Our kids look up to us. They watch everything that we do from the way we respond to situations, to the way we talk and act. I had to realize that in order for me to be a good role model I had to practice what I preach. Rather than making the situation worse, I sat down with my son and I talked to him about steps he can take to deal with a bully. I had to make him feel comfortable so that he knew it was okay to talk to me about these issues.

What is a Bully

Before we can start learning how to deal with a bully we must first understand what a bully is. A bully is someone who seeks to harm or intimidate someone who they think is vulnerable. With that being said a bully will pick the kid who they think they can easily take on.

Why Do Kids Bully

Now that we know the definition of a bully lets get into the details of what causes children to bully. Kids are already very critical, so when you add bullying to the equations the outcomes are not good at all.

Most kids who bully are either powerless, jealous or they are simple just looking for attention. Let’s get into detail about each of these things.

Powerless

Kids who are going through trying time at home will be more susceptible to bully someone else. They feel powerless in their home life which causes them to seek power outside of the home.

Jealousy

Sometimes kids tend to pick on those they are jealous of. If your child has something that other child wants they will pick on them just because they are mad that they cannot have the same thing. This does not always refer to materialistic things, these can also be things such as your family dynamics.

Looking for Attention

A Lot of the times kids who are looking for attention will lash out. They do this simply so that someone could notice them. They long for attention because they are not getting it at home.

3 Steps to Deal With a Bully

Don’t Be Afraid

This is the 1st and most important step to dealing with a bully. We must teach our children that they should not be afraid. Once they learn that they don’t have to be afraid of a bully they can move to the 2nd step, which is to stand up for yourself.

Stand Up for Yourself

This goes back to the definition of a bully, they will only pick on those they think are vulnerable. If you teach your child to stand up to them they will win. I am not saying that you must teach your children to fight, however I am saying that we must teach our kids that a bully does not have power over them. Teach them they can easily walk away and go to an adult to let them know what is going on, which lead to the 3rd way to deal with bullying.

Tell an Adult What is Going on

We must teach our kids that it is ok to tell an adult what is going on when someone is picking on them. Most kids have it in their head that if they tell an adult they will get labeled as a tattler. The one who typically put this in the children’s head is the bully themselves. This is why it is important to always talk to our children. As parents we have to let them feel that it is okay to come to us when they have an issue.

Getting Past Bullying

Anyone who has ever had to deal with bullying knows this is not easy to get past. It takes a lot of time to get over childhood bullying. Most people deal with issues well into adulthood. Studies show that kids suffer PTSD, self-esteem issues, and anxiety. It is important that we help our children to get past these issues early for those reasons. I know that I myself would prefer for my child not to become another statistic.

I am helping my child cope by having daily conversations with him to see how he is really feeling. The more we talk to our children, the easier it is for them to feel they can come to us.

In addition to that one extra step that I have taken was by creating a worry box. This is a box that we created together. When he has anything that is bothering him or something he is worried about, he will write it down on a piece of paper and place it in the box. This is a way for him to express things he is worried about but doesn’t feel comfortable discussing. Each night when we say our nightly prayers we add an extra prayer for all things in the worry box.

How do you help your child deal with bullying?